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seaflowerDisclaimer: I do not own NBC's Grimm or its characters. This is a work of nonprofit fiction which plays in that universe. The same goes for the wonderful song 'First Love' by Utada Hikaru.
Special note to all my A Grimm Family and a Blutbad Bond readers:
I am still working on that fic! I have a notebook filled with notes but I am currently struggling with chapter 6! My muse and I are struggling to get Roddy POV just right for the story. In an unexpected turn of events I have discovered that it is easier for me to write in Holly and Barry's voice than Roddy. I hope to have chapter six out as soon as possible. Many apologies. Many many apologies.
Sometimes I find the best way to deal with writer's block is to take a break and write something else. This one-shot grew out of that break and my examination of Juliette's character.
I hope you enjoy it and review! Reviews are food for this writers soul.
================================================================================
"So Holly's a Blutbad, Roddy's a Reinigen and Barry is a Jagerbar?"
"Perfect memory, just like the girl. " Nick replies as he kisses me behind the ears.
Our practice wedding rehearsal dinner party was in full swing at the Italian restaurant where we reserved the entire back room.
"I wish I could see them like you do. I feel like a blind person who has to be lead by the arm constantly!"
"For most wesen, the parts you can see are the most important." Nick takes my hand and leads me towards the small dance circle by Roddy and his violin.
"And the others?"
"I'm just happy you are such a good shot." He grimaces slightly. I know he still has nightmares that his Grimm life will rip me a part.
My big bad cop Grimm. His long stocky arms feels so safe as we started to twirl to the melody. Friendly. Stable.
"You're my world Nick, I love you," I whisper in his ear, pushing aside his raven locks.
"You're my family Juliette." Warm eyes look down at me.
Nick and I have always found solace in each other. We had similar hobbies, taste in movies/music and G-d knows we both like to dance.
Four years ago his statement would have sent me over the moon, this is the Nick I knew, the Nick who decorated my car in a thousand origami cranes because my neck and demeanor reminded him of their gracefulness. Sweet, thoughtful and sincere.
However…
"Uh oh! Hank! He was invited! He was invited!" Nick shouts as he chases after Hank.
I shake my head as I make my way back to the table as Nick tries to stop Hank from breaking Roddy's violin.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The evening was winding down. The party was slowly breaking up as people went up to the stage to perform their karaoke song. The karaoke rental was from Sergeant Wu who shrugged his shoulders when Nick raised an eyebrow and asked him for G-d sakes why?
"Dude, I'm Asian"
"I'm so glad we watched the same after school specials about the problems with racial stereotypes," Nick said with an exaggerated smile.
"Nick if you can not withstand the drunken cat wailings of your friends, than you have to wonder if you have the constitution for marriage," Hank said sagely.
Luckily alcohol did make everyone sound like Diana Ross.
Out of nowhere, goose bumps appear on my arms. Frowning for the first time tonight, I turn my head towards the stage.
A lone sheepishly looking tall man meets my glaze.
Monroe.
He was almost unrecognizable in a deep green button down shirt and pressed black pants.
However his sad sweet side smile identified the man who helped save my life and improving my cooking skills with recipes on FACEBOOK.
He texted Nick two weeks ago saying he didn't think he could make the dress rehearsal.
"Monroe?" Nick whispered beside me, turning away from his discussion with Wu.
"…Hey everyone, sorry to drop in like this, I've been overwhelm with work but I got some stuff finished, and well I've been thinking…I should...pay my respect before the big day…" Monroe rambled.
The room still as everyone gave their attention to the strangely commanding man.
"Juliette, I think I can speak for everyone in the room when I say, you are a radiant woman. Your warmth, your compassion and your sense of humour has made becoming your friend a delight, I doubt you realize how hard it has been to try to live up to your example"
Oh Monroe …
"As we all know Nick is a very open and rambunctious soul" Monroe mock as the room broke out in laughter. Nick rolled his eyes at me as he good-naturedly took the jab directed at his renowned reserve nature.
"So I'm sure he won't be offended when I reveal how sappy he got one night after 10 beers last year over his first love, Juliette, the first girl to not fall for his charm smile, the first girl to challenge him, the first girl whoever felt like home."
Nick kisses the back of both of my hands and instantly I recall our first night stargazing.
Monroe elegant speech picks up in pace as his words become harder to hear again.
"I think many people here can agree, it is a very rare and precious thing to find happiness with our first…love. Hell most of us are lucky if find love at all, I only found it once myself…"
"Angelina" Nick whispers softly to his knees. Missing the not too subtle glance in his direction.
"However, if you have, lost or still looking for it, I think we can all agree love, true love is something to treasure. It unites us. So in that vein, I would like to dedicate 'First Love' by Utada Hikaru to love, I finally learnt some Japanese."
"Saigo no kisu wa
tabako no flavor ga shita
nigakute setsunai kaori" ***
Monroe is not the best singer I ever heard, but the passion and clarity of his voice stir the room as foreign word played with our imaginations.
"Ashita no imagoro ni wa
anata wa doko ni iru n' darou
dare wo omotte 'ru n' darou"
My mother used to say that love goes beyond language.
Barry sweeps a weeping Sally into his arms and a sheepish Holly lays her head on Roddy's shoulders.
I feel a jolt as some English words bleed into the Japanese lyrics.
"You are always gonna be my love
itsu ka dare ka to mata koi ni ochite mo
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one"
ima wa mada kanashii love song
atarashii uta utaeru made"
My thighs start to vibrate as Nick's body starts to tremble to the words stealing the night away in a beautiful melody. Aching to keep myself in the moment, I wrap my arms around him.
"Tachidomaru jikan ga
ugoki-dasou to shite 'ru
wasuretaku nai koto bakari
ashita no imagoro ni wa
watashi wa kitto naite 'ru
anata wo omotte 'ru n' darou
you will always be inside my heart
itsu mo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
now and forever you are still the one
ima wa mada kanashii love song
atarashii uta utaeru made
You are always gonna be my love…"
The rest of the song fades into the back of my thoughts as Nick excuses himself from the room, barely able to look me in the eye. Oddly his eyes are the only dry ones in the room as the bittersweet tremors of Monroe's voice reaches far and wide.
"I…am not feeling so well…I think I need some air" Nick barely gets out before he heads towards the washroom.
2 minutes later Monroe finishes his song and quickly rushes off stage amid wild cat calls and standing ovations.
The confusion in my belly almost blinds me to Wu pressing a book in my hand and asking me to give it to Nick, Monroe left it behind.
Tonight I have come to realize that a desire for love, to be needed, to have company can motivate someone to stay when the situation surrounding them suggests the relationship is not working.
For many months I told myself I did everything I did out of love.
I put on a fake smile for love, I waited for months on end for love, and I refused to demand answers when Nick's world put my life in danger by several crazy chicks…
When Nick finally told me he was a Grimm, I did not take it well. Hell I took it horribly not well, but in time I forgave and became excited that the man of my dreams did what he did out of some sweet but misguided idea that he had to protect me.
I ignored my own willingness to play the game.
Looking down at the crumpled sheets of paper on my bedroom floor, I realize I can't pretend anymore…
"Tomorrow, at this time
where will you be?
who will you be thinking about?
the paused time is
about to start moving
there's many things that I don't want to forget about
tomorrow, at this time
I will probably be crying
I will probably be thinking about you
you are always gonna be my love
even if I fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to hold on
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
now and forever... "
****English Translation of the Japanese lyrics of Utada Hikaru's 'First Love'
The violent trembling coming from Nick's body vibrates the bed. The softness of his grey eyes lost in the storm. I wish I could put my arms around him, but I can barely keep myself from violent shaking myself.
For a very long time we sit together, wordless unable to speak. And then like an angel, Nick wraps my body with his.
"When I lost my family seven years ago…I didn't think I, I didn't know, that I could have a home again and then I met you…, I-"
"Juliette, I was being honest when I said you are my family." his fingers dangled in my hair "I love you Juliette".
"But you love Monroe more."
His silence answers with an honesty too much for both our egos.
After an eternity of silence, Nick whispers,
"I don't want to lose you"
"You can't lose family Nick, but for now, I need you to leave."
I feel him gently nod his head against my skull before he leaves the room. When I open my eyes I notice the lyrics are no longer on the floor and hear his engine slowly head in the direction of Forest Park.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!"
"Juliette, it's 4 in the morning."
"You should have thought of that before you became a homewrecker!"
"I have no idea what you are-"
"Wu, please don't insult my intelligence. One, you rented the karaoke machine. Two, it a bit unlikely that the one Japanese song in particular that Monroe knew was on that machine by accident and three…I watched Monroe, he knew those words by heart, those lyrics aren't his are they?"
He smoothly opens his door wider and lets me into his apartment with its eccentric movie posters and warm design. With a soft yet direct look he drops the clown façade.
"He's been singing that song once a week at the lonely hearts karaoke night at the Blue Moon bar for the past three months…he never said it was Nick, but I kind of knew… Esp after that kidnapping case…"
"Wu…"
"At the very least I thought singing the song at the dinner would allow him to say goodbye and let me tell you it wasn't easy to get him to agree to say go-"
"If it was goodbye, why give me the lyrics?"
Wu quickly looks down at his feet.
Ah. Nick always said that Wu was the secret power behind the throne at work and now I can see why.
"Evil always triumphs because good is dumb,"
"Spaceballs, really?"
"Mock the movie not the wisdom!" Wu said loudly before grabbing my hand. Gently.
"The three of you are good people…and I didn't want to see you guys suffer for that stupidity."
Tears threaten to run down my face again.
"Take it from a gay man who forced himself to go to the first three weddings of the hetero guy he was in love with…You do not want experience that type of stupidity."
"Stop making it hard to hate you" I whisper weakly.
"I know I cost you a husband, but can I give you a friend and ice cream instead?" Wu asks sadly.
"Do you have chocolate?"
"Yes."
"I really want to hate you!"
"I know."
Special note to all my A Grimm Family and a Blutbad Bond readers:
I am still working on that fic! I have a notebook filled with notes but I am currently struggling with chapter 6! My muse and I are struggling to get Roddy POV just right for the story. In an unexpected turn of events I have discovered that it is easier for me to write in Holly and Barry's voice than Roddy. I hope to have chapter six out as soon as possible. Many apologies. Many many apologies.
Sometimes I find the best way to deal with writer's block is to take a break and write something else. This one-shot grew out of that break and my examination of Juliette's character.
I hope you enjoy it and review! Reviews are food for this writers soul.
================================================================================
"So Holly's a Blutbad, Roddy's a Reinigen and Barry is a Jagerbar?"
"Perfect memory, just like the girl. " Nick replies as he kisses me behind the ears.
Our practice wedding rehearsal dinner party was in full swing at the Italian restaurant where we reserved the entire back room.
"I wish I could see them like you do. I feel like a blind person who has to be lead by the arm constantly!"
"For most wesen, the parts you can see are the most important." Nick takes my hand and leads me towards the small dance circle by Roddy and his violin.
"And the others?"
"I'm just happy you are such a good shot." He grimaces slightly. I know he still has nightmares that his Grimm life will rip me a part.
My big bad cop Grimm. His long stocky arms feels so safe as we started to twirl to the melody. Friendly. Stable.
"You're my world Nick, I love you," I whisper in his ear, pushing aside his raven locks.
"You're my family Juliette." Warm eyes look down at me.
Nick and I have always found solace in each other. We had similar hobbies, taste in movies/music and G-d knows we both like to dance.
Four years ago his statement would have sent me over the moon, this is the Nick I knew, the Nick who decorated my car in a thousand origami cranes because my neck and demeanor reminded him of their gracefulness. Sweet, thoughtful and sincere.
However…
"Uh oh! Hank! He was invited! He was invited!" Nick shouts as he chases after Hank.
I shake my head as I make my way back to the table as Nick tries to stop Hank from breaking Roddy's violin.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The evening was winding down. The party was slowly breaking up as people went up to the stage to perform their karaoke song. The karaoke rental was from Sergeant Wu who shrugged his shoulders when Nick raised an eyebrow and asked him for G-d sakes why?
"Dude, I'm Asian"
"I'm so glad we watched the same after school specials about the problems with racial stereotypes," Nick said with an exaggerated smile.
"Nick if you can not withstand the drunken cat wailings of your friends, than you have to wonder if you have the constitution for marriage," Hank said sagely.
Luckily alcohol did make everyone sound like Diana Ross.
Out of nowhere, goose bumps appear on my arms. Frowning for the first time tonight, I turn my head towards the stage.
A lone sheepishly looking tall man meets my glaze.
Monroe.
He was almost unrecognizable in a deep green button down shirt and pressed black pants.
However his sad sweet side smile identified the man who helped save my life and improving my cooking skills with recipes on FACEBOOK.
He texted Nick two weeks ago saying he didn't think he could make the dress rehearsal.
"Monroe?" Nick whispered beside me, turning away from his discussion with Wu.
"…Hey everyone, sorry to drop in like this, I've been overwhelm with work but I got some stuff finished, and well I've been thinking…I should...pay my respect before the big day…" Monroe rambled.
The room still as everyone gave their attention to the strangely commanding man.
"Juliette, I think I can speak for everyone in the room when I say, you are a radiant woman. Your warmth, your compassion and your sense of humour has made becoming your friend a delight, I doubt you realize how hard it has been to try to live up to your example"
Oh Monroe …
"As we all know Nick is a very open and rambunctious soul" Monroe mock as the room broke out in laughter. Nick rolled his eyes at me as he good-naturedly took the jab directed at his renowned reserve nature.
"So I'm sure he won't be offended when I reveal how sappy he got one night after 10 beers last year over his first love, Juliette, the first girl to not fall for his charm smile, the first girl to challenge him, the first girl whoever felt like home."
Nick kisses the back of both of my hands and instantly I recall our first night stargazing.
Monroe elegant speech picks up in pace as his words become harder to hear again.
"I think many people here can agree, it is a very rare and precious thing to find happiness with our first…love. Hell most of us are lucky if find love at all, I only found it once myself…"
"Angelina" Nick whispers softly to his knees. Missing the not too subtle glance in his direction.
"However, if you have, lost or still looking for it, I think we can all agree love, true love is something to treasure. It unites us. So in that vein, I would like to dedicate 'First Love' by Utada Hikaru to love, I finally learnt some Japanese."
"Saigo no kisu wa
tabako no flavor ga shita
nigakute setsunai kaori" ***
Monroe is not the best singer I ever heard, but the passion and clarity of his voice stir the room as foreign word played with our imaginations.
"Ashita no imagoro ni wa
anata wa doko ni iru n' darou
dare wo omotte 'ru n' darou"
My mother used to say that love goes beyond language.
Barry sweeps a weeping Sally into his arms and a sheepish Holly lays her head on Roddy's shoulders.
I feel a jolt as some English words bleed into the Japanese lyrics.
"You are always gonna be my love
itsu ka dare ka to mata koi ni ochite mo
I'll remember to love
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one"
ima wa mada kanashii love song
atarashii uta utaeru made"
My thighs start to vibrate as Nick's body starts to tremble to the words stealing the night away in a beautiful melody. Aching to keep myself in the moment, I wrap my arms around him.
"Tachidomaru jikan ga
ugoki-dasou to shite 'ru
wasuretaku nai koto bakari
ashita no imagoro ni wa
watashi wa kitto naite 'ru
anata wo omotte 'ru n' darou
you will always be inside my heart
itsu mo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
now and forever you are still the one
ima wa mada kanashii love song
atarashii uta utaeru made
You are always gonna be my love…"
The rest of the song fades into the back of my thoughts as Nick excuses himself from the room, barely able to look me in the eye. Oddly his eyes are the only dry ones in the room as the bittersweet tremors of Monroe's voice reaches far and wide.
"I…am not feeling so well…I think I need some air" Nick barely gets out before he heads towards the washroom.
2 minutes later Monroe finishes his song and quickly rushes off stage amid wild cat calls and standing ovations.
The confusion in my belly almost blinds me to Wu pressing a book in my hand and asking me to give it to Nick, Monroe left it behind.
Tonight I have come to realize that a desire for love, to be needed, to have company can motivate someone to stay when the situation surrounding them suggests the relationship is not working.
For many months I told myself I did everything I did out of love.
I put on a fake smile for love, I waited for months on end for love, and I refused to demand answers when Nick's world put my life in danger by several crazy chicks…
When Nick finally told me he was a Grimm, I did not take it well. Hell I took it horribly not well, but in time I forgave and became excited that the man of my dreams did what he did out of some sweet but misguided idea that he had to protect me.
I ignored my own willingness to play the game.
Looking down at the crumpled sheets of paper on my bedroom floor, I realize I can't pretend anymore…
"Tomorrow, at this time
where will you be?
who will you be thinking about?
the paused time is
about to start moving
there's many things that I don't want to forget about
tomorrow, at this time
I will probably be crying
I will probably be thinking about you
you are always gonna be my love
even if I fall in love with someone once again
I'll remember to hold on
you taught me how
you are always gonna be the one
it's still a sad song
now and forever... "
****English Translation of the Japanese lyrics of Utada Hikaru's 'First Love'
The violent trembling coming from Nick's body vibrates the bed. The softness of his grey eyes lost in the storm. I wish I could put my arms around him, but I can barely keep myself from violent shaking myself.
For a very long time we sit together, wordless unable to speak. And then like an angel, Nick wraps my body with his.
"When I lost my family seven years ago…I didn't think I, I didn't know, that I could have a home again and then I met you…, I-"
"Juliette, I was being honest when I said you are my family." his fingers dangled in my hair "I love you Juliette".
"But you love Monroe more."
His silence answers with an honesty too much for both our egos.
After an eternity of silence, Nick whispers,
"I don't want to lose you"
"You can't lose family Nick, but for now, I need you to leave."
I feel him gently nod his head against my skull before he leaves the room. When I open my eyes I notice the lyrics are no longer on the floor and hear his engine slowly head in the direction of Forest Park.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE!"
"Juliette, it's 4 in the morning."
"You should have thought of that before you became a homewrecker!"
"I have no idea what you are-"
"Wu, please don't insult my intelligence. One, you rented the karaoke machine. Two, it a bit unlikely that the one Japanese song in particular that Monroe knew was on that machine by accident and three…I watched Monroe, he knew those words by heart, those lyrics aren't his are they?"
He smoothly opens his door wider and lets me into his apartment with its eccentric movie posters and warm design. With a soft yet direct look he drops the clown façade.
"He's been singing that song once a week at the lonely hearts karaoke night at the Blue Moon bar for the past three months…he never said it was Nick, but I kind of knew… Esp after that kidnapping case…"
"Wu…"
"At the very least I thought singing the song at the dinner would allow him to say goodbye and let me tell you it wasn't easy to get him to agree to say go-"
"If it was goodbye, why give me the lyrics?"
Wu quickly looks down at his feet.
Ah. Nick always said that Wu was the secret power behind the throne at work and now I can see why.
"Evil always triumphs because good is dumb,"
"Spaceballs, really?"
"Mock the movie not the wisdom!" Wu said loudly before grabbing my hand. Gently.
"The three of you are good people…and I didn't want to see you guys suffer for that stupidity."
Tears threaten to run down my face again.
"Take it from a gay man who forced himself to go to the first three weddings of the hetero guy he was in love with…You do not want experience that type of stupidity."
"Stop making it hard to hate you" I whisper weakly.
"I know I cost you a husband, but can I give you a friend and ice cream instead?" Wu asks sadly.
"Do you have chocolate?"
"Yes."
"I really want to hate you!"
"I know."
